When you have the most adorable and loving kids and a dedicated husband, everybody thinks you have it all. But do we really??
Judge me all you want, but there are things that were once a part of me and now they aren’t and I have no shame accepting that I miss them. It was about time I got them out of my head and onto the paper.
I wouldn’t want to change anything from my present (OK, may be a couple of things). I chose to be where I am and I am content with what I have but that doesn’t necessarily mean I am not allowed to look back once in a while. All of us have some of those things that we mention under the “I WISH” column.
~ Every now and then when one of the girls is sick there’s a loop where they pass it on to each other and then to their father. Somehow, I end up being the last one being attacked. It’s all about giving medicines, making sure they rest, giving them loads of pampering and attention.
Whereas, when it’s my turn, no sickness or injury gives me the option of putting my feet up and throwing in the towel. The chores won’t wait, neither will life.
I miss those days of being on the other side of the fence, when the world revolved around me even if I sneezed too much. When I didn’t have to worry about planners or meals or appointments if I broke my leg.
~ I have had the best trips with my kiddos, seen amazing places, some unheard of but every now and then I think of those days of making impromptu plans and shoo off with my gang like I used to.
Those moments of taking off to lonavla at midnight just because we were getting bored or landing up in shirdi when the plan was to go to Goa. No checklists, no advance bookings, no weeks of planning required.
Do you remember the time when you would make a decision keeping only yourself in mind? When there were no little humans to think about while deciding to go bike racing or getting a tattoo done. I do.
These days, everything I do or say is keeping in mind how it affects the lives that I created. How their lives will change or what they would learn from my decision. I am being watched like a hawk. And God help me if I falter, this entire universe will make sure I realise I wronged those babies.
Like I said earlier, you can judge me if you want to, but I am willing to bet that all of us have at one point taken this trip down the memory lane.
Deciding to be a mother is the easiest decision I would say, being one is the toughest.
Let me know in the comments, what have you left behind.
This is a blog train hosted by Prisha Lalwani.
Do read Kavita Singh’s blog, who so kindly introduced me. She has tips to share to get your kids to sleep on time.
Also, check out fellow blogger Cindy’s post on screen time, for this blog train.